A Significant Lack of Wisdom
by PhailedNDA
Summary: For a planet named after the Greek goddess of wisdom, things seem rather illogical on Athenas. Oh yeah, there's also a boy who's befriended the neighborhood siren. Contains light fluffy friendship-y Zero and Maya. They're kids, anyway. Based on my headcanon in the story Love on A Place Like Pandora. NOW ACCEPTING REQUESTS! (Explained in A/N at the end)
1. Chapter 1

**A/n: Hello readers. You may or may not have read my story Love on a Place Like Pandora. If you have, then reading this has no impact on the story, but it contains scenes from Zer0 and Maya's memories, which you should enjoy, as seen how some reviews had positive comments regarding the flashbacks. If you haven't, a May0 shipper should enjoy the story and should read Love on a Place Like Pandora. If you're not a May0 shipper, but simply want to read this for fun, then I only suggest reading the beginning and the end of chapter 12 before looking at this. With that said, this will be rarely updated and serve as a break for me when I'm not busy pounding my fucking head against the keyboard trying to think of ways to write longer chapters. So enjoy. **

**IMPORTANT- As I prefer Zero not having a name, every time his name is mentioned a '0' shall take its place.**

**Part One- Fruit Ninja**

Maya grabbed an apple from their pile, tossing it at the boy, though a bit more to his right. Clumsily, he swung the blade in its direction, narrowly missing it. Maya, in-between bites from one of the apples, laughed mockingly. The boy fumed for a moment, though regaining his composure easily. She threw another one at him, aiming for his chest. He cut through it easily, grinning a little.

"Nice," She smiled, swallowing whatever was in her mouth. "Too bad we only have apples. They _really_ love growing apples."

"I'm fine with these. You'll probably throw a watermelon at me or something. Definitely don't want that happening," He responded, returning his katana to its sheath. How a twelve year old obtained a blade in some high-security place like Athenas- we'll never know.

"I wish I could keep a katana I my room. If they were to find one, they'd have me punished," She grumbled, imagining her teacher shouting at her.

"Hey Maya, catch!" He exclaimed, hurling one of the decapitated apples at her. Almost as though she had anticipated his attack, whirled around and locked the apple in mid-air.

"Have they been training you to be quicker or something?" He asked. She nodded. "They also taught me to do this," She grinned cheekily, throwing the phaselocked apple back at him. With one swift movement, he brought his katana out, slicing it forward, and it narrowly missed him.

"I'm tired of apples, let's go somewhere else," Maya sighed, dragging him away with a hand around his wrist.

**Poetry (1 year later)**

"I thought you were better than this, you know?" Andrew groaned, slumped against the chair in the boy's room. The boy personally felt nothing was wrong. Poetry, apart from katana-wielding and free running, was one of his favorite hobbies. He didn't see anything wrong with wanting to express himself through his favorite portion of literature.

"What is the matter? Are you not pleased about this? This does not make sense," He retaliated, intentionally in the form of a haiku- mainly to get on Andrew's nerves.

"Cut the crap, 0. All the girls are after you. Imagine what they'd think if they knew you were some poetry-lover!" Andrew snapped. The boy sighed. His best friend, while showing concern towards his popularity issues, was always so sensitive when it came to the female homosapien. Personally, he didn't fine them to be any more significant than they were. They were all human, they were all alive, and at one point they would all die.

"What's annoys you so much, anyway?" The boy asked, tidying his desk. Atop it was a messy pile of literary works- which seemed to be annoying Andrew. There was a wide variety of books- from Macbeth to Charles Dickens. He had read every one of them numerous times, and even knew some lines by heart, though it was probably best that he didn't go spitting them out when opportunity arose.

"What annoys me is that you're always gone in the afternoon! Where do you go anyway? You're not seeing Amelia secretly, are you?" He asked. The boy sighed. What on Pandora (Popular futuristic lingo) would make him think he wanted to meet that… That ignorant bimbo in private anyway? She had no interest in literature whatsoever and was too spoilt.

"No, and that's not all, isn't it?" His ability to "read minds" astounded his friends sometimes. Andrew didn't seem all that surprised, having witnessed this uncanny ability firsthand on multiple occasions.

"Good psychic work there, buddy. WHY THE BLOODY HELL WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO RECITE A POEM FOR THE COMPULSORY TALENT SHOW THING?" (As you can see the author is lazy to come up with a proper situation) Andrew practically screamed, and the boy flinched a little.

"I don't think blade-work is quite… Appealing to the judges," He replied, gaze flickering to the katana by his bed for a moment.

"Of course not. But it's damn bloody attractive to girls!" At this point the boy felt like decapitating Andrew's head. Him and his attraction to the opposite sex. Andrew's hormones were probably wilder than that of an average thirteen year old.

For now, he would have to cope with Andrew's attractions and hatred for poetry.

**Invitations**

"Hey, what's got you so nervous?" Maya asked him, noticing his silence whilst they remained perched on the tree by the cult's HQ. They were right outside her window, lest she had to get back as soon as possible.

"Got a performance in a few weeks, Andrew's not pleased," He muttered.

"What, you doing a ballet or something?" She joked, giggling as the image of her friend in a tutu came to mind.

"Yeah, definitely. Andrew's gonna have me gutted if I did that," He sarcastically responded.

"So… What are you performing? WAIT lemme' guess. It's something about not being appealing to girls isn't it?" She guessed rather accurately.

"Exactly. It's a uh… Poetry recital. I'm writing it myself," He stuttered somewhat nervously.

"Pfft. What's wrong with that? I mean fancy poetry can be appealing to some girls… Right?" She asked. Lack of communication with people her age, with the exception of Zero, had made her clueless to whatever was popular. Mainly, she liked what he liked. The only hobby she had while locked up in the HQ was reading various books they gave her. Most of which were non-fiction. So with his interest in fiction, mainly plays and poems, she began to take an interest in his likes.

"Not so sure. You do realize most of my time is spent with you and Andrew, don't you?" He confirmed.

"Uh… I guess so," She answered uncertainly, unaware that she was one of his closer friends. She had assumed he hung out with large groups of friends most of the time.

Silence followed, and the two remained entranced by the moon- more importantly, the 'H' looming in the distance. Hyperion had claimed they were surveying Athenas as part of a geographical survey. Maya had always felt it was watching her.

"No haiku today?" She asked. Usually, he'd practice by thinking of a haiku as fast as possible.

"A thought comes to mind/ I have a request to make/ Would you like to hear?" He asked her in the form of a haiku. She enjoyed his haikus. Sometimes she imagined if he could only speak in them. It would be funny.

"Yeah sure," She smiled, looking up at him.

"Can you somehow come to my poetry recital?"

"I wouldn't mind."

**A/n: How these drabbles go is that you get to request scenes in the reviews. You get a shoutout if I find your idea interesting. BUT PLEASE, NO MATURE SHIT. They're CHILDREN for fuck's sake! Ahem. Though there are a few drabbles which will have to be written, for example the poetry recital. Don't worry, I'm still continuing Love on a Place Like Pandora, though I haven't started chapter 13****…**** Oh well. Science, Bullets and Vault Hunters is on hiatus BTW, sorry. **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: The only thing I have to say would be that shit gets weird at the end.**

**Punishment (Request by WhimsicalMayhem)**

As he approached the Cult's HQ, the first thing he heard was shouting- more specifically, Brother Sophis' shouting. He and Maya would often joke about Sophis' strange voice, and how his face resembled that of a bulldog. They had never actually taken him quite seriously, but when he heard the ferocity in Sophis' voice, he saw an entirely different man- one who could lose his mind in the smallest of problems. He peers into the window, and is relieved to see Sophis' back facing him. Maya had yet to notice his presence though. She seemed too unhappy to notice him.

She was rarely affected by his shouting, and probably didn't feel any guilt whatsoever. He was about to raise a hand to wave at her through the window, but was stopped when he watched Sophis raise his hand. The boy flinched, as he watched Sophis strike her cheek with his palm. Maya collapsed, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. He had to dig his nails into his leg to stop himself from tackling Sophis right there.

"Never try to escape again…" Sophis finished, storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The moment he saw the door shut, he vaulted over the window ledge, rushing to her side. "Maya, are you alright?" He asked, helping her up. She sat slumped against the wall, palm against her cheek, which had reddened significantly. "What do you think? I just got beaten," She responded, with her signature sarcastic tone.

He sat by her side in silence, anger clearly visible on his face. "I swear, I'll kill him one day for it," He snapped, gritting his teeth. She nudged him with her shoulder. "That's the honour I deserve. You can uh… Spectate."

"Sounds fair enough," He shrugged. "Why were you escaping anyway? Even if you did, where would you go?"

"I wanted to get out of this goddamn hellhole. You think I like being cooped up in my room all day, occasionally being let outside to train like a dog?" She said in exasperation. "If I _did _escape… Then I'd probably stay with you."

"But… Sophis would conduct searches to find you."

"Oh… True. Then I could uh… You know, go to Pandora, start vault huntin'." He had to hold back his laughter. This seemed more like a joke now. Well, on the bright side, she seemed happier than she was before.

"Well, if you go, then I'm coming too," He smiled, putting an arm around his best friend's shoulder.

"Sounds like a good idea. Now come on, let's go outside. Sophis usually locks himself in his room for hours after he scolds me," She laughed, pulling him towards the open window. Where she went, he'd follow.

**The Escape Plan (Request by Anonymous Reader #3)**

"Now," Maya begins, attempting to sound stern, though he found it impossible to take her seriously with the military hat tilted downwards, shielding her face. "This is a very important mission!"

He raises his hand, "Of great importance."

"Yes, thank you, soldier, for correcting my sentence, thus allowing me to sound more serious than I actually am!"

"We only have one shot at this, and if the plan fails, we die," She emphasizes on the last word, leaning forward to give it more of a dramatic feel. "0, can you please repeat the plan, so that I know you've been paying attention?"

"Yes mam'." He grins. "I begin by pouring acid into Sophis' drink." Maya nods eagerly.

"Then I watch and laugh evilly yet silently, as his throat burns."

_Nod_

"Once he is confirmed to be dead, I take the key from his robes, and use red paint to draw bloody footsteps, coming from the front door, which will be left ajar."

_Nod_

"When the other monks have run outside in pursuit of the killer, who is actually me, I will open the door to your chambers, and you shall be set free."

"Perfect, well done, soldier!"

At this time, none of them realize it would be much easier to get her out through the window instead. They preferred to have her escape more suspenseful and action-packed.

"Now, how about some cake?" She asks, throwing the cap aside. They spent the rest of their day joking around and eating the chocolate cake Sophis prepared for her.

**Rehearsal (Request by myself)**

"He is everywhere," He started, his posture straightening significantly, voice sounding more mature.

"And yet, he is nowhere too," He continued. "He is infinite." Maya had burst out laughing at this point. He scowled, tossing his paper aside.

"How do you expect me to win if I can't even recite without you laughing at me?" He snapped, and Maya had to take a few deep breaths to stop herself from laughing some more. Finally, she said, "Okay, continue." A smile is still visible on her face.

"He is everywhe-" And Maya just had to laugh again.

"This is pointless…" He finally realized, and figured it would be better for him to rehearse alone.

**Maya Becomes a Hero (Request by myself as well)**

He wanted a quiet morning, consisting of rereading his favorite titles in his room. He had planned to begin his morning by rereading (and finishing) Phantom of the Opera, though all hopes for that were dashed when he realized it was a Saturday. He had nothing against the day itself. In fact, he quite liked weekends, since they allowed him to get some reading done.

The problem was that Andrew had set him up on a blind date. Perfect, was it not? That was sarcasm, clearly. He had specifically told Andrew that he had no intentions whatsoever of hooking up at fourteen, but something seemed to be wrong with Andrew's head, thus causing him to think the legal age for "jumping on the bed" was thirteen. It was twenty one on Athenas by the way.

Well, if he wasn't going to enjoy his date, and since he was being forced to, he had an idea- one that he found to be mildly amusing, and would certainly piss off Andrew. If he didn't want to go on this date, he certainly wouldn't try to impress this girl or behave appropriately. So began an hour of preparing to look his worst for the bitch he had been set up with. He assumed this girl was envied by all others. He was not clueless as to the (failed) seductive looks thrown his way.

Finally, he had picked out a pink shirt (sewn by Maya as a joke, saying 'Maya is best siren') with a tattered blue coat over it. His pants looked more like those of an armed robber rather than a charming gentleman. As he eyed himself in the mirror, he only had one thing to say. Damn, he looked stupid= and it felt great.

Andrew had also, taken the liberty of giving Zero a checklist.

Look your best? Done.

Get her a gift? Screw that shit, he didn't have the time for that.

Throw her suggestive looks? Sure thing, he'd glare at her with a scowl on his face for the entire goddamned date.

Kiss her? He'd punch Andrew and this girl in the balls (and ovaries).

It seemed like he was ready. He was looking forward to the best date he'd ever have.

**TRANSITION (PONIES FLY ACROSS THE SCREEN FARTING RAINBOWS OUT OF THEIR PEE HOLES)**

Yes, this was going to be her lucky day. Amelia whipped out her portable mirror, checking that her makeup was applied correctly. She adjusted her bust a little, making sure _that thing _(No, the other thing on a woman's chest) was visible clearly. All those days of pretending to have an interest in video games would finally pay off. She was going to win the heart of 0.

Or so she thought. You see, Amelia is actually meant to represent all the slutty, whorish bitches who annoy me on a daily basis. SO imagine how much of a bitch she is.

She expected to see him waltzing in, smartly dressed in a black suit, smirking as he approached her as he eyed her body. Instead, he came in dressed in a thing which probably couldn't be classified as formal attire. He indifferently shuffled over, scratching his leg as he walked with a slouch. He yawned, his face showing an expression which clearly meant to say _fuck my life._

Well, she never really depended on first impressions. Maybe he'd reveal some of his charm later.

**A/n: Well that went well.**


End file.
